Transition, Loss and Change: How and why it is so Traumatic and Difficult


Are in the midst of a major transition? A complete breakdown in your life? Are you traumatized? Fearful? angry? Frustrated?

We are all going through some kind of transition. Whether is pertains to your career, home life, a relationship, with the self (mental ,emotional, spiritual transformation), even a loss of a loved one. It can manifest in many different ways in our lives.

Today I will give you a few reasons why I believe your difficult, challenging, heart-rending experience in Transition a blessing in disguise.

Yes I said it.

Also I give a few points that can  indicate you are going through a Major Transition and Transformation in your life, and why it is  traumatic and difficult to handle.

But, first, let’s delve a little into what a transition means. Loosely put, transition by definition is: to move or change from one state to the other. It also derives from the Latin word : “transitio” which means to ” go across”. Well that’s convenient isn’t it? (Crossroads With Your Confidante?) or (Crossing with Confidence?)


Transition in many ways encompasses Loss and Change. To me they are one in the same. You cannot have a transition without change. Transition is change. Or can precede it. In the transition, you are going to lose something.  In fact, it is mandatory (I will explain later). 

Transition is a blessing in disguise (and I know it is hard to believe) because:

  1. It is a aid  in you growth, development, enlightenment/ spiritual awareness. We as human creatures need changes to shake up, and force us to pull out tools we never thought we had, to confront the difficulties, challenges, head on. We only grow when things are difficult, uncertain, and new. Also, because we are so uncertain and everything is so turbulent, it forces us (we don’t have any way of knowing what’s next) to rely on Higher Force, to guide us. Lest we give up and crumble.Trust me, when things get that bad, you become desperate of anything to cling to for stability and comfort. When all else fails (a lot will fail), you can be sure that your Higher Power, Source, God, or the Universe will not.
  2.  You find yourself, and your purpose. You learn of your self in the transition. As things, people, positions, possessions fall away, it can teach you really fast about who you are and what your about. With so many changes confronting you, it has you wondering: Who am I now without so-and-so? Now that you lost this prestigious position, do you lose your self-identity with it as well? As you are re-defining and changing your ideas of who you are, does it change what you do, bring to the world as your purpose? Of course it does. As the old falls away, let something that need to go–perhaps your old job/position– go as well.
  3. Leads to your desires, a newer, better fulfilled life. Sometimes we hope, pray, and desire  for something to happen in our lives. Then it does (at least starts). How do we know? The transition comes in. What we were comfortable with, familiar with, however, something we don’t want, falls away. Now you have the time, space, freedom to acquire, accomplish, choose what is you really want. Many times as well, the transition serves a training, or preparation ground for the next phase in your life, and what it requires of you.
  4. Discover your strength, inner strength. To get through the storms of life, you need strength. Life in many ways tests your strength. You learn what your made of, what you can endure, handle, overcome, and so on. When you are stripped of all you know and all you are familiar with, and are still standing….you are strong.  You learn of your great ability to pass the tests, that come with life. Faith, trust, what you believe, about self and life, and so on, are tested.
  5. Releases you of your crutches. Crutches are what we use as an excuse to not to fully utilize our power and abilities. Crutches are what we feel or think we need to survive, or keep us safe. It can be anything; a relationship/person, habit, addiction, etc. As things are shaking, in turbulence, and we are forced to grow, develop new skill sets, you can be sure those crutches are going out the window.

Well, what do you think about that? Does it change your perspective?

Now, what if for some reason you are unsure if you are going through a major transformation or transition? It can happen. Sometimes we can’t tell.

How do know you are in the midst of a major transformation/transition:

  1. Experience sudden, major loss. When things fall away in multiples, within a short time period (depending what it is), things breakdown (and cannot stick together again), most likely you are undergoing some kind a transition. The old needs to fall away; and it is leaving space for the better to come in.
  2.  Chaos; upheaval. Whether it is manifesting emotionally, mentally, financially, physically, socially, things can get crazy. I think chaos is a prerequisite to change. Transition presents it to clear out what needs to go, a breakdown.
  3.  Confusion/uncertainty. About our self, life, or purpose, worth. Our paradigms are falling away,  we are unsure of who we are, where we are going, what to do about what we lost, which are ramblings of  our minds in the midst of transition loss and change.
  4. Void, emptiness. This is a later stage of transiton; after the “old” falls away (mentally, emotionally,socially,) and have yet to reach the next phase of life. It leaves emptiness. You may have rid yourself of a lot of patterns, negative emotions, relationships, a certain lifestyle, and you are yet to create the next part of your story. It can be very awkward, uncomfortable , and even painful.

Does this answer some of your questions? Now for the million dollar question:

So why is transition so traumatic and difficult? I can give you a few reasons:

  1. Letting go of the familiar. This poses so much difficulty when the familiar is all we’ve known. It’s what we are used to. We know what to do in the familiar, we know how to handle it, what to say. When something that is totally new confronts us, we freeze, are overcome with fear. Many times, we define ourselves by the familiar, once that is gone, that can leave us with some extremely uncomfortable and scary feelings. We have yet to create a new norm and unsure of what the next step is.
  2. We are creatures of habit. We don’t like change. We are wired in our minds to have fixed patterns, routine, preferences, etc. When we have a familiar stimuli, we create an automatic response, a reaction. When we are given unfamiliar stimuli, our mind cannot make a reference of how to respond, then goes into panic.
  3. We like to be in control. At least we think we are. It comes from the ego. The ego lives in the past or the future. It make us fearful of the present which brings challenges, and desperately tries to make sense of it through our past experiences. Of course it cannot, because the transition brings a ton of stuff to which we a have no personal reference. So once again, we panic, or get angry.


So what do do about these trying time, difficult transitions in our life? Well the answer is very simple; we just need to go through it. With a positive attitude, and holding on to our inner strength that we naturally possess, as well as trust. Trust your life, even when it doesn’t look or feel trustworthy; because everything is for good reason. When you come out of it, you will understand what it was all about.

Check out my next page of Loss and the Power of  Letting go about how to deal with grief and emptiness of the things/people we lost. loss-and-the-power-of-letting-go


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