(A Woman’s Guide To Reclaiming Wholeness After Sexual Abuse)
Blog and Podcast Show notes
By Simone N
For a more in depth discussion, check out the podcast episode for this blog, to listen.
Have you allowed feelings of inferiority to rule your life?
Do you see yourself free from it?
How do we start to see ourselves in a higher light?
It would only be appropriate to speak on this subject, as it is in relationship to shame; for the most part, is a big reason we feel shame.
Everyone, regardless of past experiences, circumstances, and upbringing, are afflicted, one time or the other, with feelings of inferiority. To feel inferior by definition: is to feel (in context of this subject) less than, lower in rank and status, to someone else( physical objects can also be considered inferior but that is not the focus).
Any kind of an abusive past will always lead to feelings of inferiority; to be treated with disregard, disrespect, exploitation, in a harsh/uncaring/violent manner will have damaging effects of the self esteem. If we are being treated less than ourselves (whole), we then take on what is being demonstrated towards us; the cycle of abuse continues, as we mimic the attitudes, ideas, and behavior of the perpetrator. That experience with that individual leaves imprints on us. Once we have taken on ideas of feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, it stays with us for along time. We identify with it; it is who we are, how we are, and we will always be this way. If we don’t get rid of this mentality, we will suffer as well as our lives.
I will give you some pointers for overcoming inferiority complexes:
- Don’t compare yourself with others. The reason for this is, when we feel inferior, we are feeling less than, or not up to standard with other people. Other people are better than us. That’s what we think. When we know and have the understanding that we will never be exactly like everyone else; we are unique, and have our own special path and purpose, we no longer have the need to compare.
- Understand that no one’s life is better that yours. Remember the comparing thing? Yes, don’t go any further. No one’s life is better than yours, it’s an illusion. Everyone has problems, difficulties, weaknesses, their own mountains to climb. No one has it all. Granted, you may not have what another has (possessions, money, looks, personality), but you can be sure that, the same person doesn’t have something you have, and may want it.
- Build self esteem with positive affirmations, and reminders. Learn to accept yourself, uniqueness and path. It’s the only way to feel better about yourself.
- Test out your own inferiority. The problem is that you feel less than others, so test it. Pick something that you’ve seen someone else do, that you want to do, but think you cannot do. Then do it. Force yourself. Throw yourself into it. Once you’ve done it, what do you think now? You did it– and there is a chance that you did it better than you thought you would, too. So what did you learn? You proved to yourself that you are not inferior! The only difference between you and the other person, is that they did it, and you did not. Our feelings of inferiority is double-edged sword. We already feel we are not up to standard, cannot do a thing, so we don’t try. When we stay with that belief; and do not challenge it, it makes us feel even more inferior of the things we haven’ t tried or done.
- Understand that inferiority of self, is an illusion. It is a fear, that is created in the mind. This fear may have been originated in someone else’s mind; but we may have absorbed, or been taught this belief (consciously, or unconsciously) to feel inferior. This is not something you came out of the womb believing about yourself. As a child, you believed that you can do anything, be anything, nothing could stop you. The world was your oyster. If you don’t feel this way now, something taught you, in someway, that you were not good enough. This illusion of feeling superior to others, or inferior has created issues in our society like: racism, sexism, ageism, classism, etc.
Just know that, to feel inferior, is just that— a feeling. It is not truth. When you have this knowledge of your perfection, then you totally eradicator all of the lies about yourself.
How is your anger? Check out the next article: How To Overcome: Defining Yourself By Rage