(A Woman’s Guide To Reclaiming Wholeness After Sexual Abuse)
Blog and Podcast Show notes
By Simone N
For a more in depth discussion, check out the podcast episode for this blog, to listen.
Do you know your purpose in life?
Why is it significant to know it, and live it?
If you do know what it is, and are avoiding it, what is stopping you?
Each of us has a special gift to give to the world. Our purpose, is our reason, function in life. It is how contribute (from the heart); it changes those around us, and our world for the better.
Our purpose is what we do to fill another’s need with our strengths, talents, gifts and abilities.
Knowing and living our purpose is significant and very important to sense of self and self worth, fulfillment, happiness and peace of mind. When you are unaware of your purpose and/or don’t live it, you then experience discontentment, emptiness, unhappiness, and general unease within yourself, and towards life. This is so , because the purpose you carry is the reason why you here; so it is understandable to feel this way. To put this in another perspective: if you are not in alignment with your soul’s essence (purpose), you cannot find true satisfaction, because your mission is not being completed.
There are somethings that each of us cannot do (or many things) well; if we do them, we feel awkward, stressed (perhaps the activity or job requires a certain personalty and/or skill that we do not possess), misplaced, and overall unhappy, and miserable. You can be sure it is not your purpose if you hate it. Somethings that work for me, may not work for you, as we are all different, and unique. You must find where you fit.
I will give you some ways/pointers to help you figure out what your purpose is (Also I would like to add that, only you know what it is; it is born within you, no one else can tell you):
- You love it. No matter how many times you do it, each and every time it is just as enjoyable and fulfilling as the last. It is your passion. You feel excited and invigorated when you do it.
- It is something you always seem to gravitate to. If whatever reason you stop doing it consciously or otherwise, you seem to be drawn helplessly back to it. It seems to find you. You cannot get away from it. It ‘haunts” you at every corner.
- As much as you love it may scare you to death. Let me explain this. In this case it is something you don’t feel worthy of. Someone at some point told you could not do it ( lacking skill, talent, or other characteristics), it may contadict everything you were told, or believe about yourself; your self esteem suffered, and you felt insecure doing it.
- You have a natural ability/propensity to do it. You have the interests, skills, talent, or gift to do it. It feels natural and easy.
- It is something you could do for free, because it is so personally satisfying.
If you don’t know your purpose, it’s OK. It does take time, effort, a healed mind, self awareness and identity to know your purpose. Sometimes it can be quite challenging and difficult because sometimes the things we think we can do or good at, turn out to be the thing that we later are jaded by, or even hate. Not everything we have the ability or have the skills to do, are our purpose.
Suppose that you do know what your purpose is, but are not living it, why is it so? Keep in mind that to live your purpose, it does not always mean that it needs to be your full-time job, or source of income, however it is something that must be shared with the world, because it is what you came to do.
It helps to investigate: What is stopping you from sharing yourself, who you are with others? Why are you hiding it? Do you believe in and/or can you trust yourself to do it?
I’ve identified several reasons, why we may not answer our soul’s calling to live purposefully:
- We have remnants of shame within us. It could be deep and dark and overt, or it can be more more insidious and subconscious.I would say this specifically to those of us that wants to live more in alignment with themselves, but feel blocked, and unable to do it. Most likely it is shame. Shame is to feel humiliated/embarrassed; it encompasses feeling of inferiority and unworthiness. Survivors of sexual abuse are more prone to feel this, and it may be the very thing that prevents them from living their purpose, whether they are aware of of it or not.
- Feeling unworthy or inferior. This is to not feel good enough, or undeserving of what we want, the happiness living our purpose entails. Shame can cause these feelings, as I said before, so it is related. To not feel enough, as a deeply ingrained pattern of thought, we feel we are to be miserable and unhappy. Personally, I didn’t allow myself to do anything that I would shine in/show greatness. This was for the reason of a pathology that I was “wrong”, so it was a self-fulfilling prophecy to oppose anything that contradicted it. Especially my purpose, that would allow me to “win”.
- We care too much about what other people think. This can in essence, relate to feelings of shame and feelings of inferiority. Perhaps someone “forbade” us to do it, saying that we are not good enough, do not have the skills, and we believed them. The foundation within us is not strong enough; to know know who and what we are, to defy the comments and do it anyway. Having a people pleasing attitude or habit is detrimental to your purpose, living your own life powerfully.
- If we seek to live our purpose full-time lifestyle/business or career, we may not do it because it may seem impossible, or too much work
All in all, whatever level or stage you are in, in relation to your purpose, just know that it is worth it. The time, effort, energy, struggles, the journey. You place more of truer, value on yourself, become more joyful, fulfilled, and most importantly, you make a difference (that is why we have gifts to share), so don’t be greedy.
If you struggle with shame, check out to the next article: How To Overcome: Defining Yourself By Shame