(A Woman’s Guide To Reclaiming Wholeness After Sexual Abuse)
Blog and Podcast Show notes
By Simone N
For a more in depth discussion, check out the podcast Episode for this blog, to listen.
Do believe that there is a higher reason for the abuse you suffered?
Looking in retrospect, do your experiences serve as a teaching guide for others?
What about your growth, evolution, and expansion of self?
Firstly, I just would just like to clear up that not all us believe in spirituality and/or religion, and that’s OK.
Spirituality, has helped me in my journey, and I am just sharing those things that may be helpful/beneficial to you.
Now let’s clear up the difference between religion and spiritual , as there are distinctions, that I will like to make.
(Now, this is just in my opinion, not meaning to offend) Religion is a man made dogmatic (full of principles, rules that are set as absolute) institution, a lot of judgments passed to those that oppose the dogma, condemning; somehow that God plays favorites, (some going to hell, others to heaven, etc.).
Spirituality, to me, is a lot more relaxed; it is to understand that there is a Higher Power/Mind/ Intelligence at work that governs the Universe, however, there are no real hang ups of names, correct ways of “worshiping”, rituals, doctrine, etc. It is following your own ideas and truth about your “spirit”. There is just a knowledge that we are all connected to this Source, something bigger/vast, and the way to define it is completely up to the individual.
I chose to speak on this topic of spirituality, as many question the reason for our unfortunate events and experiences. We wonder what was the purpose of it? Was it by bad luck, happenstance, random and tragic?
Part of spirituality is to have an understanding that there is a Higher/Divine Reason; a a purpose for everything in life. If you believe that everything happens for a reason, then you do have a sense of spirituality; an understanding that there is a Higher Force governing at play here. Why else would something happen for a reason, if it was all chance, luck and coincidence?
Do you see what I am getting at?
Now that we have a better understanding about this, what is the reason? There may be more than one, and you can define it for yourself.
What I understand is, the reasons that we are here in this life. is to learn from our experiences (hard lessons), for growth, expansion of self, evolution. (How can you learn and grow at a deep level when things are easy? Just something to think about.)
Learning the contrasts of our experiences, can teach us a lot about who we are, our nature, what we like, what is no good for us, and all facets of life (hot/cold, happy/sad, good/evil).
I am going to share some things that I’ve discovered about myself from the sexual abuse I went through, as well as other not-so-good experiences in my life:
- Realized my strength. My ability to endure, overcome, move beyond, climb over seemingly impossible difficulties, and obstacles. How can you know what you can truly do, if you have not been challenged, stretched, tried, and tested?
- Connected to my last point, I’ve discovered more of a personal power; as I am not afraid anymore, I’ve survived the worst. When you climb out of something that dark and deep, it changes you as a person. For the better.
- Appreciate the good that much more. When the darkness is over; when you make it through your depression/hopelessness/pain (mental/emotional trauma state), life gets better, you happiness is that much greater; the love you now feel is sweeter, and beauty is more appreciated. Everything is brand new, the world is experienced for the first time once again ( a new born babe).
- Empathy increased. Well let me speak for myself; my compassion for others is greater.Had I not gone through what I did, I don’t think I would care as much for others feelings. I’ve become more sensitive to it. Other shouldn’t have to go through the same pain.
- It’s made me an example. What I mean is, my healing journey can show others who are starting their own healing journey of what is possible for them through the brokenness, distress, and hopelessness of their present state. Also to those who could be at risk, my experiences may prevent a situation where someone can be abused.
- I discovered my true spiritual nature/self. I learned that I am much more than my body and mind; it forced me to dig deeper and anchor on to something beyond it. Had I not, i don’t think I would have survived, and probably would have self-destructed. Spirituality kept me intact, on the right track, learning, growing and healing.
In my observation, to make an opportunity of contrast; there are people who are lost in life, because there is no awareness of something more than themselves (mind, body, tangible being). They completely self destruct because they have no anchor, reason, purpose to look to, or believe in; of a Higher Order/Reason, and consequently, they cannot have of feel a reason/purpose for their existence.
Perhaps I gave you something to think about, in case you are questioning or making sense of your painful experiences, maybe all it takes is a change of perspective to give you some understanding and hopefully some peace.
Check out the next article: Seeing Yourself As A Three-Part-Being