(A Woman’s Guide To Reclaiming Wholeness After Sexual Abuse)
Blog and Podcast Show notes
By Simone N
For a more in depth discussion, check out the podcast Episode for this blog, to listen.
What is a three-part being?
Could you possibly be seeing yourself less than you are?
This is a good topic, because it is something that is not popular. Although is not popular, it is still important to speak about.
To be a three part being is, to be or have awareness of who we are of our whole self, a three dimensional being. The three dimensions of our being are: body, mind, and spirit/soul. It is very easy, especially in our day and time, and certain cultures, to become one-sided in the perspectives and knowledge of ourselves. Sometimes it is ignorance, other times it is forgetfulness. It is also very hard to see ourselves as a whole being when we are being indoctrinated/programmed on a daily basis.
We are bombarded with (more so in western cultures), media: television, computer/internet, (commercials), social media, projected through technology of all kinds (cellphones, everything pertaining to), that give us a certain idea about ourselves; ideas/beliefs,what we need, or need to acquire to be enough or/and or desirable/attractive.
Most often the emphasis we are receiving through these impressions, and messages are of our appearance/ body and possessions, what parts of ourselves, and that which pertains to us that “need” improvement. We feel that this is where are worth is, the substratum of who we are.
As women, particularly, we are always pressured and/or expected to meet some unrealistic standard of how we should look, how we can be to be pleasing and significant to another.These expectations and standards are not necessary and important; and I may add that is is damaging to the self esteem. The reason is of impossibility– because no matter what, they cannot be achieved. You cannot please everyone, all the time, everywhere. The difficulty compounds, as the standards, and trends are always changing constantly.
In addition to all of this pressure, there is a whole other level of stress for an individual who has been sexually abused. Let me explain what I mean. To have gone through that kind of abuse, it sets the mind to become preoccupied with the body and it’s appearance. Especially had this occurred in childhood, when the brain is in the early stages of development, those children then grow up to derive their self worth, and what they deserve based upon their body, appearance and what they can do with it. For example, look at those that have built a career upon purely on their bodies and the pleasure it can create for others: strippers, porn stars, prostitutes, etc. While someone would do it had they not had a choice, the one that chooses to do it, there is question that requires an answer here. Given options and choices of a career, why would they choose something of this caliber? In my opinion, nine times out of ten, this person has been sexually exploited or abused on some level; and they are replaying the same cycle of abuse to themselves.
While we do need to acknowledge and enjoy that we have a body, we need to understand that it is not all we are; as it is serves as a vehicle for us to carry out our life’s activities, and purpose.
We also have a mind. We are intelligent, emotional, reasoning, thinking and functioning beings. When we are preoccupied with our bodies, we neglect our ability to recognize and use our minds to the highest capacity, to live fully and be the person we would like to be. I would like to add that to neglect mind as well, would result in overlooking our mental health, and its possible issues.
Abuse, cripples the ability to use the mind in an efficient, productive manner (trauma), and many times causing mental disorders and illness. Mental illnesses such as bipolar, borderline, depression, dissociative identity disorder, and other excessive patterns of anxiety, worry etc.
For many, when we have these mental issues, it is hard to become aware of them as it has become normal, and a created self identity. Only in the process of healing, we then begin to see ourselves more clearly; our minds start to release, unblocked and more open, and we then can distinguish between that which is true and natural to us, and the distortions of a false created self. This is why therapy is so effective.
We must make sure that we take care of our mental selves and health; as it is very important. If the mind is sick/disturbed, your body will suffer, as it mirrors the mind and manifests in the rest of your life, it will deteriorate (as within so without).
Aside from all the mind and body stuff, we also have a spirit or soul. Your soul or spirit is the true essence of you, you in your truest and purest form. It is what makes us, us, aside from the physical, tangible parts us that we can see, and know that is there. Of course the stuff that we consist of, that which we can see, are still us, “humanistically” speaking; but it is just the surface.
The best way I can illustrate this, is the the time before you where born. In your mother’s womb, before you had an established identity in the outside world, you existed. Before you developed, wrapped in flesh, had a name, or even before your presence was known to your mother, you existed. You had no real identity here in this womb, but you were this spark, light, this soul (and still are). The soul/spirit is your uniqueness/unique color; that which you bring, this indescriptive thing that makes you individually you, sets you apart from others. It is Divine.
Having this awareness makes you appreciate yourself more; and allowing yourself the opportunity, gives you more of a personal power (makes you stronger for this life). I believe The spirit/soul also causes us to know or have the impulse to bring or do the thing we came in this world to share. Our purpose. The spirit/soul is also what sparks the healing of our traumas and pain, and enables us to learn, give and grow. Our recovery is facilitated by our soul/spirit, as it is the best of us, and desires to bring that out in our lives. It also through which we experience joy, fulfillment of life, love; we appreciate ourselves and others(we also see them as their whole selves).
So now you know what a a three part being is, each aspect, and their significance. Of course this is just something to think about, as you have the freedom to define yourself as per your beliefs, and your life in the way you want. I only say what may be possible helpful and beneficial to you (through my experiences and beliefs).
Check out the next article: Knowing Your Purpose